storytellers

jesse · daydreamer Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 33

This is a dream I had the other night that I'm writing down, expanding and fleshing out. The story's pretty set in stone, but the technical aspects probably suck, judging on how fast I churned this out, so please critique harshly.

--

As I hauled my bag up the steps of the academy's entry hall, I marveled at the sheer opulence of the place. The exposed woodwork was finished a rich golden colour, the plaster was wrapped up under thick burgundy wallpaper, and the carpet was dark, rich, and thick, if heavily worn in the middle, where I myself was walking. As I climbed, I looked up at the ceiling, which was decorated with a grid of finely carved woodwork interspersed with frescoes of famous sorcerers. Honestly, it was all a little intimidating.

The chancellor's office was easy enough to find, just off the enormous central hall that ran perpendicular to the entry stairs. His office placement probably reflected that he liked to be seen by guests entering the Royal Academy for the first time, though since I hadn't yet met him, that was only a guess. I set my case down heavily outside the half-open door and knocked.

"Who is it?" he asked. Well, someone asked. From my vantage point behind the door, I could see into the office, but not the desk itself.

"Ah, it's Maggie McLaughlin. The, um, letter I got said to report to the chancellor?"

"Who? OH! Yes, come in."

I pushed the door open to reveal an office even more opulent than the hall outside. Several plush chairs sat facing a large mahogany desk whose front was carved into a relief of the Royal Sigil. The desktop was marble inlaid with gold filaments, and the floor lamps that sat in either back corner of the room shone like polished silver, which they probably were. Presiding over the space was a man in a fine, dark suit. His hair was graying from a dark brown, and he was mostly bald on top. He wore a musketeer-esque moustache and beard and a pair of gold-rimmed spectacles. He seemed to glower at me from behind a plaque on his desk that read CHANCELLOR BRADDOCK, and I hesitated at the door for a second before stepping inside.

"Welcome to King Angus' Royal Academy of Sorcerous Arts, Ms. McLaughlin. I trust you are confused about why you are here. Your admittance to my school is contingent upon a special task." I couldn't imagine why such a prestigious school would need me for a special task, but I kept my mouth shut and just nodded. "You are to accompany and protect Ms. Naomi Markos, another student entering the Academy this fall."

Two things collided in my brain on their way to my tongue, but one was more forceful and made it there first. "You want me to... be a bodyguard?" I asked, as incredulously as I dared in front of so forceful a man. The second thing almost made it out as well, but the chancellor began talking again and I held it.

"That is indeed what I said. You will share a room with Ms. Markos and attend all of her classes. Here is your room key and schedule." He picked a manila envelope off the desk and handed it to me.

"But-" I said, not taking the envelope, "I can't fight. I don't even know any magic. How can I-"

"This is a school of magic, is it not?" Braddock interrupted me. "I'm sure you will learn all manner of useful things here. Take the envelope." I did as I was told.

"Is Naomi Markos the daughter of Pietro Markos?" I stammered, the second thought finally loosed to the air. There weren't many people with that name in the kingdom, let alone in a school intended for nobility.

"She is the vizier's daughter, yes. You will find your room in the female dormitories, which are to your left when you walk out of my office." He stared at me for a second. "Which I now ask you to do."

"Right, sorry," I said, turning to leave. My desire for clarity was still stronger than my fear of the chancellor, though, and I turned back to him. "It's just... I didn't actually even apply to come here. How did you-"

"Do you not wish to attend my school?" said Braddock sharply. "I'm certain there are many others of low birth who would gladly take your place."

"Ah, no, no!" I waved my hands.

"Then kindly seek out your dormitory."

I scurried out of the room, almost forgetting to grab my bag as I ran past it.

<3

-Jesse

_________________
I've always been Jung at heart.

GeneralArnold77 · Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject:

That was awesome, I'll be anxious to see if more comes. I have to confess that I've been way too into Star Wars lately, because all I could hear for the Chancellor's voice was Palpatine in Episode 3, lol

But it was well writian, and I look forward to more!
_________________
“Fixed fortifications are monuments to man's stupidity.” ~General George S Patton Jr.

jesse · daydreamer Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 33

My pulse was pounding as I trundled down the hall, my bag thumping against my leg with every other step. I was not used to dealing with imperious figures of such importance, and my instinct to run still had me on edge. I slipped the smaller envelope, containing the key, out of the larger one. It read "613," and I groaned at the thought of hauling my heavy case up six full flights of stairs.

I knew instantly when I had found the dormitory wing, because the halls were filled with girls milling about, looking for their rooms. Few were actually carrying their own bags, like I was; most had servants with them to do the heavy lifting. I located the stairs and began climbing, feeling incredibly self-conscious. No one, however, gave me a second glance.

When at last I reached the sixth (and top) floor, I noticed that there were only a handful of other girls there. I wasn't sure if the sixth floor had already filled up and its inhabitants were snug in their rooms, or if there weren't as many students lodged there. I found 613 without much trouble and set down my bag to take out the key.

It turned out to be the strangest key I had ever seen. It appeared at first glance to be a flat, metal rectangle about the size of the envelope it had just come from. As I held it, I found it was actually three pieces of loosely interlocking metal that reminded me of my grandfather's old puzzle boxes. The two end pieces were a shiny silver, the middle one a more modest copper. I looked at the door and found three places in a row down one side of the door where the key segments could fit. I pulled the pieces apart to insert them...

...the key, the door, the hallway, the school, the world, it all went away. I was only aware of a single sensation: the image of three boys.

<3

-Jesse
_________________
I've always been Jung at heart.

eleison · Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 6:30 pm Post subject:

Oh my, this is very intresting. Actually, I am liking the simple first person narrative very much. While schools for magic are generally a dime a dozen and the tone is very juvenile fantasy I still want more.

Messing with the classics is sometimes the best thing ever, I suppose.

And what about these three boys?! Ooo! I cannot wait to read more! Also, I almost want to illustrate this... so, uh, yay!
_________________
Everywhere I go I find that a poet has been there before me.
~Sigmund Freud~

jesse · daydreamer Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 33

I'm seriously well aware of, and a little embarrassed by, what a cliche the school of magic is, but I'm trying to make it as different as possible from previous iterations of the trope. The dream was set in a magic school; what can I do?

Also, they use the term "academy," but it's actually more of a university. All the students are college-aged.

Haha I would have written more about the boys but I had to run off to class. I'll write more presently.

<3

-Jesse
_________________
I've always been Jung at heart.

eleison · Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:57 pm Post subject:

I sort of suspected that, seeing as this is you, you were planning on taking this is a total other direction than the realm of absolute cliche.

... if I was writing it, on the other hand, we would all run in horror.
_________________
Everywhere I go I find that a poet has been there before me.
~Sigmund Freud~